Sunday, February 8, 2009

Finding your love language

With Valentine’s Day coming up this Saturday, most of us have our loved ones on our minds. I thought it would be fun to look at the different ways people feel they are loved. Dr. Gary Chapman categorizes love into the following five categories in his book The Five Love Languages: words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch.
Before deciding what to do for your loved one for Valentine’s Day, click here to determine which love language he/she speaks so you can give the perfect gift.

I’ve briefly outlined each of the love languages below and gave Valentine’s Day ideas for each love language. For more detailed info, click here.

Words of affirmation
If this is your loved one’s love language, give him/her verbal compliments and words of encouragement often. Why not write them a
heart-felt note for Valentine’s Day?

Quality time
If this is your loved one’s love language, make time each day to have a quality conversation where he/she has your undivided attention. Find time to spend quality time together doing an activity you both enjoy, even if it is just watching a favorite tv show. For Valentine’s Day, plan a
date that will allow you to spend some quality time together doing something you both enjoy.

Receiving Gifts
For those who speak this love language, gifts are visual symbols that show them they are loved. The gifts don’t need to cost a lot of money, but will show that you care.
Flowers, cards, chocolate, etc. would be a great Valentine’s Day gifts.

Acts of Service
If this is your loved one’s love language, simple household chores are a great way to show him/her your love. Find out what act of service he/she appreciates and do them as often as possible. For Valentine’s Day, why not offer to
cook dinner and wash the dishes?

Physical Touch
Hugging, holding hands,
massages, etc. are great ways to show your love to those whose primary love language is physical touch. All of the previously stated would be a great ideas for Valentine’s Day.

What is your love language? I’d love to hear.


  1. Hi My name is Staci. Heidi N. told me about your blog. I just barely checked it out last week. Some of your post remind me of what I would and could post about. I think so far we we think a lot alike. You should check out my blog and post sometime. Anyway. My love language is Quality time for sure. My husband is acts of service 100%! I found this book to be an amazing help early in our marriage (we still talk about it). I learned a lot about myself and my husband (mainly we discoverd how we needed and wanted love stemmed from our different childhoods and the love languages taught by our parents). Very different. I highly suggest reading this book. Many therapist suggest it in their counseling sessions too. I could read it again and benefit. Take care. Staci

  2. We have this book too. :) I am totally a combination of Acts of Service & the gifts one. Kurt is the opposite...he's Physical touch and Words of Affirmation.

  3. Thanks for the comments...I love hearing them.

    I am quality of time, too, Staci. My hubby is also Words of Affirmation and PT.